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Home » Good Touch & Bad Touch: How to Explain to Your Children about Safe and Unsafe touch

Good Touch & Bad Touch: How to Explain to Your Children about Safe and Unsafe touch

Good Touch & Bad Touch

One of the most important conversations parents should have with their children is about good touch and bad touch. That too very early in their lives around 4-5 years of age.

With increasing incidences of children abuse, it’s essential to tell them the difference between good touch and bad touch.

Having this conversation can be difficult. You might not feel comfortable talking about it or your child might be too young to understand. But arming your kids with this information is an investment in their safety that will pay dividends throughout their lifetime. 

In this article, I’ll cover why good touch and bad touch education is so important. I will also share tips on how to explain these concepts clearly so your child feels empowered against harmful situations. Together, let’s empower our kids with knowledge so that no one can take advantage of their innocence!

 

How to Explain Good Touch & Bad Touch to Your Child

Talking to the child about good touch and bad touch is an important part of helping them stay safe. It’s best to start the conversation when kids are young and make sure to keep it going throughout their childhood. Here are five steps on how to approach the topic with your child: 

 

Step 1 : Start early

The conversation should start early, even as young as four or five years old. Make sure you use age-appropriate language and explanations that your child can understand. 

Tell them the real & biological names of all private body parts. Explain that there are some places on our bodies where no one should ever be allowed to touch. These areas are called “private parts” and include the lips, chest, stomach, legs, arms, buttocks(hips), groin area and genitals(vagina & penis).

Tell them “No one can ever touch or see your private parts thats why they are called private:”

 

Step 2 : Be direct

good-touch-bad-touch

Begin talking about good touch and bad touch after making them understand basic concepts like body boundaries, consent,  private parts, and personal safety.

Good touch is a Safe Touch

Explain that good touch is when someone touches them with their consent that makes them feel nice, cared, happy and safe.

  • hug from a grandparent
  • when mommy kisses on forehead
  • father patting back to praise
  • doctor gives you a checkup in the presence of your parents
  • mumma giving a refreshing bath

Also, parents should never force their kids to give a hug, kiss or shake hands if they don’t want to.

Always ask “Do you wanna give a hug to mumma?”. This way children learn that no body is allowed to touch or ask to touch without their consent.

Bad touch is an Unsafe Touch

Bad touch is when someone touches in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, confused or scared. 

  • Tickling
  • Touching without consent
  • Touching private parts – Stomach, hips, neck and genitals
  • Touching kissing on lips
  • Asking to show private parts
  • Hitting or pinching

Emphasise that any kind of touching on their private parts – from someone they know or don’t know – is always wrong. No matter what kind of promises or threats come along with it. 

Teach them that if someone ever does try to touch them inappropriately, they should not let them touch and tell you immediately so you can keep them safe. 

Tell your children it’s not their fault if someone touches them inappropriately and they should always tell an adult they trust right away if it happens.

You can show your kid this video here for better understanding.

 

Step 3 : Respect their boundaries : Its ok to say a “NO”

Good-touch-bad-touch

Encourage your children to set strong boundaries when it comes to physical contact (hugs, handshakes, high-fives etc.).

Teach them it’s OK for them to say “no”. If someone tries too hard for a hug or handshake after being asked multiple times in the past – even if the other person gets mad at first! Your boundaries matter.

Emphasise that it’s always okay to say “no” if someone is touching you in a way that doesn’t make you feel comfortable or if you don’t want them to do it.

 

Step 4 : Reassure them & Talk Openly

goodTouch & Bad Touch

Let your children know that you’re there for them no matter what. Remind them that they can always come to you if they ever feel uncomfortable with someone’s behaviour around them – even if it’s someone close like a family member or friend (or even yourself).

Remind them that nothing is too small or insignificant to tell you and that it’s OK for them to speak up if something makes them feel strange or uneasy. Let your child know that they can always come to you for help if something happens that makes them feel scared or uncomfortable.

Tell a child If he/she gets touched by someone without their consent, it is wrong and not okay. They should immediately remove themselves from the situation and tell an adult they trust such as a parent, teacher, or another responsible adult. It is important to let the adult know what happened in detail so they can help ensure that the child feels safe and secure. If a child does not feel comfortable talking to an adult about what happened, they should talk to another trusted friend or family member about it. 

Talk openly with kids so they can come to you with questions or concerns without feeling embarrassed or afraid of getting into trouble. 

Let them know it’s never too late for them to tell someone if something has happened in the past – this will empower them to stand up for themselves now and in the future.

 

Step 5 : Listen carefully

Family. Beautiful mother and her cute daughter

Take time for active listening when talking about these issues with your kid(s). Don’t interrupt;provide enough silence so that children can tell you anything without feeling pressurised by the clock ticking away or adult expectations looming over their heads in those moments of sharing time together!  Lastly, never forget praising kids when they open up about such sensitive topics – this will only bring more trust into the relationship between both parties involved!

 

How To Say “NO”

Teach your child how to say “no” if they don’t want to be touched by someone. Here I am sharing few ways to say NO:

No-to-bad-touch

  • Verbally

Direct way to say “no” is firmly say “No, thank you.” This lets the other person know that the child does not wish for physical contact and should emphasise that it is OK for them to set boundaries. This phrase can also be used if the child gets asked whether or not they would like any type of physical contact, such as a hug or handshake.

  • MAKE DISTANCE

Another way a child can express their desire not to be touched is to take a step back from the individual who was attempting contact. Taking even one small step away can communicate their lack of consent and demonstrate that the person should respect their boundaries. Additionally, this physical distance may help create an additional sense of safety for the child. 

  • BODY LANGUAGE

If verbal communication does not appear effective enough on its own, then using body language can also help reinforce that they do not want any physical contact. Some examples include crossing arms over their chest, turning away from the individual trying to touch them, or even placing hands on their hips in an assertive stance. These postures will make it clear that the child does not wish for any physical contact and emphasises that their feelings should be respected. 

 

Conclusion

In this post I have shared a few things we can do as a parent to help our children understand good touch and bad touch. It’s important to have these conversations early and often with your kids, so they know that they can always come to you if something happens.

Do you have any other tips for teaching kids about good touch and bad touch? Share them in the comments below!

 

FAQs about good and bad touch

1.What is good touch and bad touch?

Good touch and bad touch refer to different types of physical contact. Good touch is any type of physical contact that is intended to provide a sense of comfort, care, or connection between two people, while bad touch is any type of physical contact that is unwanted or makes the recipient feel uncomfortable, scared, or violated. 

 

2.How do I explain good touch and bad touch to my child?

When explaining good touch and bad touch to children, it’s important to use language they can easily understand and make sure to provide examples of both. Explain that good touch involves physical contact between two people with consent, such as hugging or handshaking. While bad touch involves any physical contact without permission including hitting, pushing, or touching in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. Make sure to emphasise that no one has the right to make someone else do something they don’t want to do. It’s important for kids to always speak up if they are feeling uncomfortable.

 

3.What are some examples of good touch and bad touch?

Examples of good touch include

hugging your parent or friend when you are feeling sad,

high-fives after playing a game,

holding hands with a friend when crossing the street,

receiving a massage from someone you trust,

getting a haircut from a hairdresser; or being hugged consensually by someone you know well like an aunt or uncle.

Examples of bad touch include

adults making inappropriate comments about your body; being touched without permission in ways that make you feel uncomfortable such as tickling, having someone look at your body in an inappropriate way, being forced into sexual activities with adults or older children, being given drugs without your knowledge; getting hurt physically by someone who is supposed to care for you like a parent or guardian, being kissed on the mouth against your will.

 

4.How do I know if my child has been the victim of bad touch?

Some signs that your child may have been the victim of bad touch include

changes in behaviour such as becoming withdrawn or distant around certain people,

sudden fearfulness around adults who have previously made them feel safe,

difficulty sleeping due to nightmares related to their experiences,

unexplained bruises on their body (particularly near private areas),

expressing fear during medical exams and treatment which indicates a lack of trust in adults providing care,

displaying signs of anxiety when asked questions about certain individuals.

In addition to these behavioural changes, physical signs such as sexually transmitted infections could also indicate possible abuse as well as complaints from school officials regarding suspicious behaviour involving other students/teachers/coaches/mentors etc., 

 

5.What should I do if I suspect my child has been the victim of bad touch?

If you suspect your child has been the victim of bad touch then it’s important not to panic. Instead remain calm and supportive while talking with them about what happened so they can express their feelings openly without judgment. The next step would be finding resources available in the community such as counselling services for trauma survivors and reporting what happened so authorities can investigate further if needed.This could involve contacting your local law enforcement office directly for advice on how best handle the situation according to state regulations governing abuse cases.

 

6.How can I prevent my child from being the victim of bad touch?

You can help prevent your child from becoming the victim of bad touch by teaching them about personal boundaries from an early age. This includes understanding of acceptable behaviour between people and respecting others’ space regardless if its something small like hugs vs handshakes. Also equipping them with strategies for seeking help should they ever find themselves in a difficult situation where their safety feels threatened. For example teaching them how to recognise abusive behaviours before anything happens so they can avoid those situations altogether if necessary 

 

7. What are the long-term effects of bad touch?

Bad touch can have long-term effects including depression and anxiety due to post traumatic stress stemming from traumatic experiences and abuse situations.

Physical pain resulting from injury inflicted upon victims.

Trust issues leading survivors feeling unable form meaningful relationships due lack faith human interaction.

Feelings low self esteem coming disconnected sense belonging within society 

 

8.How can I get help if my child has been the victim of bad touch?

Many support organisations exist specifically designed to help victims of bad touches get help through professional counselling services. local crisis lines providing emotional support to survivors affected by traumatic events.Even  individuals seek legal action against abuser(s). It’s also important remember many times abusers aren’t strangers. But rather family members caregivers so often.

 

9.What are some resources for parents on good touch and bad touch?

Parents looking for more information on good/bad touches should check out websites such StopItNow! (stopitnow.org).

National Sexual Violence Resource Center (nsvrc.org).

Child Welfare Information Gateway (childwelfare.gov)

Darkness 2 Light (d2l.org)

These all great resources providing helpful tips parents navigate conversations surrounding subject matter their kids understanding context sensitivity.

Parents can watch below videos for better understanding and confidence to explain it to your children.

1. Good Touch And Bad Touch Story

  1. Komal: Child Sexual Abuse (बाल यौन शोषण) Short Flim in Hindi – CHILDLINE 1098

  2. Protect Yourself Rules – Safe Touch / Unsafe Touch

 

 

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